old flame

Deciding on your old flame

Question of the Day

You were so in love when you were 20. Then love did you dirty and your heart was broken. Fast forward 15 years later. You meet your old flame again, and despite the hurts of the past, sparks fly. Do you give love another try with your old flame or do you remain in love with the memories? Can old love become good new love…again?

Featured photo © Canstock Photo

tosh thumbnailNatosha Warner is an author and talk show host. She pens the Question of the Day feature for Solomonjones.com

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It has crossed my mind on what my past exes would think if they were to see me now….

Ebony Oliver

No I’d rather let the past stay where it belongs.

Skdamc Da Partystarter

We have to learn to stop putting commas where we are supposed to put periods.

Solomon Jones

I love this comment. When I initially read it, I thought I’d made a mistake in editing the question, but then I understood the metaphor. Yes, in many cases we have to learn to put a period at the end of a phase of our lives that should be over. However, sometimes, people realize that they’ve left the best thing that ever happened to them. In those cases, maybe it’s best to try again.

Garey C Phillips

So many people get caught up on…Nostalgia (the good old days)
People change in time…There may very well be, some ambers still lit….But you in essence know longer truly know that person…

As for your in law question…Thats mute….You ain’t marrying the in-laws

On line dating imo…is a matter of comfort….I liken it to purchasing a pair of shoes, on the net….You
really don’t know the texture of
what your buying….Nor if the
sizing will be right….So it’s a big
gamble, with to many risks…For
@Lastly….Romance has absolutely nothing to do, with finance…..Someone that doesn’t realize that….Have no idea what true romance is…Again just Imo


I love the metaphor Skdamc. Here’s my tidbit…I had a terrible break-up with an old Boo when I was 21-ish. I cried and thought about that man/boy for years. He found me one day about 13 years later. At the time we knew each other we were foot loose and fancy free. Fast forward and I had been married and divorced with one child. He was now married and divorced with 4 children. Oh hell naw!!!! I realized that I was just in love with a memory. Forget a period or a comma, I put an exclamation point on that chumpy and then a question mark on why I had given the past a second thought. Leave your past behind you because too often it’s there for a reason.

Skdamc Da Partystarter

I know the feeling. I kept longing for a relationship I lost due to mutual issues and I missed something I never had. What I actually had was a drama-filled, mistrustful, toxic relationship. I own up to my part: I was immature and insecure. It was so toxic that I had to see a psychologist. He told something very profound. He told me that he also had an office on a side street in North Philly, a residential neighborhood. He said that each trash day, after the trash trucks came through, the residents would all come outside and sweep up whatever the trash men let fall from their trucks. They liked their block to be nice, neat and clean. They liked order. He told me that I could have that type of order in my life. I just couldn’t have it with the person I was pining over. A light bulb went off and from that day forward I kept it moving.


I should have! But I went with the not going backwards thing. ..again I should have!


We more times than not know what’s for our highest and best good but choose to ignore it for a myriad of reasons. “Let you conscience be your guide”.

W. Jonathan McCoy

Never look back…