woman on scale

The weight and your mate

Question of the Day

You’ve been working out and you’re seeing results. Lately, your mate is finding all of the weight you’ve been losing. You’ve made suggestions, but your mate is totally uninterested and has told you so. You’re no longer attracted to this growing belly and you don’t want to choose between the weight and your mate. How do you get your mate to see your side so you can get him or her healthy and get your sexy mate back?

tosh thumbnailNatosha Warner is an author and talk show host. She pens the Question of the Day feature for Solomonjones.com


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Try to suggest walking, park a bit further but ultimately try to remember why you fell in love with your mate. Communicate your displeasure because in the long run we like what we like and rhat can’t be overlooked. Be totally honest and see where that gets you. Quit buying junk from the market and contunue on your path to good health.


Start mall walking as a way to ease into exercise. Do a total food intake makeover for you and the mate. Start withholding sex too.

Solomon Jones

Wait a minute … What?! Now, I want to be clear here that I’m talking about married people. Having said that, are you really saying that withholding sex from your spouse is a viable way to address differences of opinion on weight loss and diet? Huh?!


Hey, what if its a significant amount of weight is she supposed to endure 400-500 pounds because it’s her husband?

Solomon Jones

Depends on what you mean by “endure.”


As in his big butt on her. IJS

June Wilson

I hear you, Tosh, but there are many positions for married people that do not require the man’s butt (big or small) to be on the woman. Withholding sex due to your mate’s weight is really not the best method of motivation a man. Or a woman for that matter.

June Wilson

Mall walking, check. Food intake makeover, check. Withhold sex, side eye. It would not motivate me to lose weight if my spouse withheld sex & vise versa I’m sure.

Scot Fields

Class Course: “How Not To Keep A Man” . Topics include withhold sex while degrading him over his weight


What about men who degrade women over her weight and constantly.

Solomon Jones

I agree, Tosh. There are men who criticize their woman over weight. That’s wrong. But the sister said withhold sex as a way to make your mate lose weight. The brother said that’s a good way to lose a man. If we’re talking about married couples here, I gotta go with the brother on this one. IJS


Discuss a healthier life style. Gradually start replacing unhealthy food with better choices. Sit down and talk with him about your concerns; expressing how much you love and worried about him. Don’t make it about you – it’s about both of you.

Solomon Jones

I like this comment. It’s about both of you.