The Way We Were & A Love Ongoing

WHEN LAVETA caught me in her smoldering stare for the first time, we fell in love. I still see those memories in her eyes. Those eyes take me back to a time before children and bills, before heartbreaks and disappointments, before triumphs and tears, before books and columns. Those eyes – like honey sparkling in…

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Bill Cosby rape stories no laughing matter

“We’re coming at you with music and fun… And if you’re not careful, you may learn something before it’s done… So let’s get ready, okay? Hey, Hey Hey!” That is how Bill Cosby sent us into episodes of “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids,” one of the traditions of my childhood. I used to watch that…

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We used to be in love. Now what?

Being in love: The dope factor WHEN PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE it triggers events in the brain that are similar to mental illness (boy does that explain a lot). First our sex hormones are excited and awakened. Then dopamine—the same stuff that’s activated by cocaine—is released in the brain. Next comes adrenaline and a chemical called serotonin,…

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Kim Kardashian and the way men think

ON FATHER’S DAY, I was walking along South Street in Philadelphia with my 9-year-old son, Solomon, and my 12-year-old daughter, Eve. A woman passed by in shorts that were so small they showed much of her buttocks. “Eeeeww,” Eve said. I was glad my daughter responded that way, because it means she has internalized the…

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Kardashian, Mayweather, and Male Entitlement

I’M REALLY GLAD I’m not Kim Kardashian. Despite the fact that she’s loaded, takes private jets to exotic places, has a closet filled with designer clothes, and has a talented, if not a bit nutso, husband in Kanye West, I’m glad. You know why I’m glad I’m not Kim Kardashian? Because she is the poster child…

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The short skirt game: real or fake?

EVEN AFTER 14 years of marriage and two daughters, I have not quite grasped all the complications of women. I don’t feel bad, though. Most men go to their graves without understanding what makes females tick. But I’m different from those guys, because I’m willing to admit it. I’ll even go one step further. I’ll turn to my…

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Love triangles r us

Question of the day So you’ve been married for a while, but your spouse knew their best friend before they knew you. Everything is fine until the day your spouse’s best friend hits on you. You know your spouse would literally assault the best friend if you revealed this information. Do you tell anyway and let…

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Family violence spills outside with Jay Z incident

Question of the day Family violence is in the news. Solange Knowles was caught on camera assaulting Jay Z in an elevator. Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice knocked out his long-time girlfriend, dragged her off an elevator, and married her a short time later. What do you have to say about the domestic violence that’s spilling outside the home?…

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Dawn of the house husband?

Question of the day In marriage, traditionally, women were the homemakers and men the breadwinners. Well today, many women make just as much if not more money than men. Since that’s the case, should roles be redefined? Should men embrace the role of house husband–doing the cooking, cleaning, and childrearing–while women fix pipes and mow the lawn?…

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Staying for the children

Question of the day You are married and everything in the relationship is going well. You’re getting almost everything you want from the marriage–from financial security to much-needed companionship. There’s just one problem. You know your spouse is cheating. We know there are many people who are staying for the children, but what other reasons do…

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