girl in shadow 3

She kept calling me Daddy

EDITOR’S NOTE: This article concerns adolescent sexual and mental health issues, and may not be suitable for small children.

[dropcaps]I[/dropcaps]t’s 10:30 am inside a brightly lit classroom. The students are done their work and decide to engage in a conversation about promiscuity. They celebrate the young ladies they have conquered, remembering each girl as of she were a fort sitting on an ocean, firing shots of triumph into the air with each word they use. They’ve learned these behaviors from their environments. It’s what they know.

[blocktext align=”right”]”Every time she said it that was another way to cope with the idea that Daddy may not exist in her life. Or she may not have a good relationship with him … It may be the only way she knows how to address her problems.”[/blocktext]Student: Man we ran a train on this one jawn. It was four of us. She kept calling me “Daddy” and s—.

Me: Why you think she kept calling you “Daddy?”

Student: Because she must’ve liked it. When everybody else was gone she wanted me to come back in the room. Man I was out!!!

Me: You ever think about why she would allow four  guys to do that to her?

Student: She wanted us to do it. She asked us to come over.

Me: But think about it. She called you “Daddy.” Maybe she’s trying to get closer to make energy. Maybe she’s using y’all to block out pain. To numb the pain. Ppl do use sex to self medicate. You know?? Just like cocaine, alcohol, cigarettes, weed. Maybe she’s not a nympho. She called you “Daddy” and asked you to come back in when everyone was leaving, right?

Student: Yeah (with a deep thought filled face).

Me: What if she was calling for her “Daddy,” a father figure that may be missing? What if they weren’t moans of pleasure but screams of pain?

Student: (face still deep in thought as he listens intensely)

Me: What if she called you “Daddy” because you look just like him or remind her of her “Daddy?” You ever think about that? And every time she said that it was another way to cope with the idea that Daddy may not exist in her life or she may not have a good relationship with him. She let four of y’all enter her body minutes apart. Beyond it being dangerous, it may be the only way she knows how to address her problems. Don’t be surprised if she sees you on the street and calls you “Daddy.”

Student: (still deeply listening) That’s deep. Yo. Deep.

(Featured Photo iStock photo)


 

corbin thumbnailGreg Corbin Jr. is a poet, activist, and community leader. In 2006, he founded the Philadelphia Youth Poetry Movement to provide space and mentoring to help Philadelphia youths discover the power of their voices through spoken word and literary expression. He pens “Real Talk,” a new feature on  Solomonjones.com

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Aphrodite Brown

Thank you for sharing this. Our youth today age far too quickly due to exposure to things our parents were able to insulate us from. What doesn’t change though is that there is a level of maturity needed to engage in responsible sexual activity that rarely exists in our teenagers. I think it is terribly important to not just have the basic conversation with our children about the birds and the bees, but to also expand that conversation to the complexity of sexual intercourse, relationships, and responsible sexual behaviors.

Solomon Jones

I think many times we’re afraid to share the truth with adolescents for fear of what they might do. The reality is they’re doing it anyway, so we might as well share the truth and use it as an opportunity to share our values as well. If we’re telling them to abstain, what is our rationale? Is it because of the many negative consequences including diseases, pregnancy and emotional damage? Is it because of our religious beliefs? Are we telling them to adhere to a standard that we didn’t (and in some cases still don’t)? We have to be real, and candid, and transparent in my view, because at the end of the day when kids make their own decisions (and they will) they need to do so in an informed way. And that information should come from their parents before it comes from anywhere else.

Michelle

Wow, that was painful to read, but I am glad the dialogue took place

StEwPiD_MoNkEy

I’ll disagree with you.

‘If we’re telling them to abstain, what is our rationale? Is it because of the many negative consequences including diseases, pregnancy and emotional damage?”
What you’re advocating is a course contrary to our make up as humans. Yes STD’s exist and some are lethal. Yes pregnancy can happen. emotional damage…that is more societies fault than an outcome of sex.
Why not teach protection and contriception? why not teach that sexuality is natural and not something to be shunned or vilified?
It is extremely natural to have sex. abstinance is not the answer. That’s like…”i know food exist, but don’t eat.”
sexual intamcy is just as important to our mental development as food is to our phsyical selves.

StEwPiD_MoNkEy

That depends on how you look at things. In many countries across Europe and Africa (centuries ago) men and women were adults around the age of puberty or shortly there after.
It’s recent social restraints that have given this view that they are too young. Yes, yes I do know about brain development.
I just find it kind of curious that it seems no matter what we do, we always seem to go back to our “true” nature.
In this instance, our biological need for sex. Whether it is for procreation or recreation, it’s inherent in all our natures.

StEwPiD_MoNkEy

This is stupid.
First of all, using slang in today’s society is very common with the youth. Daddy as it is expressed using urban slang has nothing to do with any of this.
Daddy as an urban expression is usually given to someone forceful, someone a woman treats because he is “all that” or in a sense he controls her (there are some women who like submissive roles so the feeling of being possessed is erotic and an expression of love. And no. You do not have to be abused to have a submissive attitude).
She was saying daddy becasue she liked it and she enjoyed using that term. Lol. do women who say oh god in bed express some painful memory of church or perverse desire to copuate with god?
Lol. Really people?