SJones 2.18.2014

Sochi? Philly’s having its own Winter Olympics

FOR MUCH of the past month, I’ve felt like a man trapped in a snowy nightmare. The historic winter-storm season was so utterly overwhelming, I thought a woolly mammoth would come traipsing down Market Street. Of course, the mammoth never arrived, sort of like the snowplow that was supposed to clear the side streets in my neighborhood.

The snow came, though. It came so many times I thought we’d all won starring roles in an Ice Age version of the movie, “Groundhog Day.” Perhaps that’s why I haven’t watched even one second of the Winter Olympics, in Sochi, Russia. I felt like we were already living through our own Winter Games here in Philly.

Our games didn’t come with soundtracks. They came with power outages and potholes the size of moon craters. Still, we did what we could to make the most of it, right down to inventing our own list of competitive events. Forget bobsledding and curling. Philly has its own brand of winter fun, and I’m here to walk you through the top three events.

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(Featured illustration by Richard Harrington)

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