I KNEW it would come to this. I just didn’t know it would happen this quickly. I thought I had three, maybe four more years of fatherly bliss. But when I look back on it now, I realize the signs were there all along.

Eve has always had an appreciation for handsome faces, beginning with mine. Unfortunately, she noticed early on that boys were, to quote her little girl vernacular, “cute.” Things went downhill from there.

When she was about four, she began to notice the kissy-face plot lines in Disney movies and fell in love with “Jump In” star Corbin Bleu’s  curly hair and crooked smile. Soon she was requesting Corbin Bleu pillows and posters, and we got them for her, because we figured it was harmless. We were wrong.

She graduated from Corbin Bleu to Roc Royal, a member of the boy band Mindless Behavior.

But in the last year or so, Eve has become a Belieber, and she’s behaving more like a cult member every day.

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(Featured Illustration by Richard Harrington)