cookies3

I love Girl Scout Cookies but …

VERY FEW people are mean enough to say no to a little girl selling Thin Mints in front of the supermarket. That’s why we all buy Girl Scout cookies.

But let’s keep it real. If the Girl Scouts are going to continue their shortbread hustle, they’re going to have to give us bigger boxes.

I’ve tried to tell myself the skimpy boxes don’t matter. I’ve tried to take comfort in the fact that I’m helping children. But when it’s time for that late night snack and there are only two cookies left, I’m not thinking of little Shelly getting her activity badge. I’m just thinking that I want more cookies.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the Girl Scouts. That’s why I’ve tried so hard to rationalize their tiny cookie boxes. I’ve told myself the skimpy cookie boxes are the Girl Scouts’ attempt to put America on a diet. I’ve told myself the price jump is a secret tax increase designed to deny us our cookies.

But when I’m alone in the kitchen, staring at that last Lemonade cookie, the truth whispers to me from the Girl Scout logo on the bright yellow box. It’s really weird, too, because there are two girls on that logo, so when they speak they sound like something from “Children of the Corn.”

“We raised the prices and gave you less,” the logo says in a sneering tone. “This is America, and in America, that’s what you do.”

I cover my ears and tell myself there’s no way little girls could be that cold blooded. And that’s when it hits me. The sweet child who sold me the cookies isn’t to blame. It’s the people in cookie marketing.

The geniuses behind Girl Scout cookies knew exactly what they were doing when they decided to give us half the cookies for twice the price. They knew we could turn down high-priced cookies on a shelf. But we’d never say no to little Hillary if she confronted us at the supermarket entrance.

Bottom line, people will always buy cookies from little girls, no matter how much they cost. And when we open our boxes of Caramel Delites and realize we’ve been had, we’ll scarf them down to deal with our disappointment.

That moment of relief leads to another box. And another. And before we know it we’re trapped in Girl Scout Cookie addiction.

Well I say, “No more!”

Give us enough cookies to make a decent midnight snack. Charge us fairly so we can eat our Thin Mints with dignity. Treat us like valued customers who are important to your business. That way we won’t feel so used.

You’ve got to understand that these cookies are more than just snacks. They’re like old friends. From Lemon Chalet Cremes to Thin Mints, from Do-Si-Dos to Samoas, we’ve spent decades eating cookies with funny names. Never once did we say Tagalongs sounded like the name of a pair of shoes. We didn’t question you when you told us you’d made cookies called Trefoils. We simply bought them at your price.

I don’t think I’m alone when I say I love Girl Scout cookies. But I’m also not alone when I say this: If you’re going to charge us four bucks a box, the least you can do is give us enough cookies to get us full.

(Featured photo by Solomon Jones)

Leave a Comment
placeholder_advertisement

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Subscribe for More

This is my 11th book, but receiving the first copies never gets old. Check out the big reveal of #10lives10demands  and order it now wherever books are sold! #racialjustice #blacklivesmatter
My mom’s got the Black New Year’s feast on the stove. Black-eyed peas, greens, chicken, macaroni and cheese and so much more. Check it out!
The Christmas light show in Macys downtown #Philly never gets old
In less than a month my book, TEN LIVES, TEN DEMANDS is out, and I wanted to break down how to use these demands as a starting point and take action. #10Lives10Demands
Tonight at 9 pm on @revolttv we discuss Phillys #gunviolence crisis. Myself, @councilmemberkj 
 and @techlifesteph break down the role of social media and more with @ebonikwilliams. @manupphl
@onwurd @phillyinquirer
This!
I’m a huge Jalen Hurts fan, but this loss is on him. I know Scott fumbled and Reagor dropped that last pass, but you can’t throw 3 interceptions in a game. Hopefully he learns from this and stops forcing passes into coverage. #frustrating
The acquittal of #KyleRittenhouse opens the door for white vigilantes to kill anyone they want to. It also puts a spotlight on the judge’s biased actions during the trial.
God is so good. Two years ago today we founded @ManUpPHL with a  citywide meeting on gun violence. Tonight we celebrate that with a dinner and strategy session with mentors and mentees who are working together to change lives. We are fully funded, we have committed volunteers, and we have a Listening to the Streets initiative that gets brothers off the streets and into jobs. This week we release our first white paper based on that program. We work to end gun violence one life at a time. Can’t wait to see what the next two years brings!
Hanging out with my friend and colleague Lady B and our great boss Jay Dixon last night at the Universoul Circus. Lady B got a well-deserved community award from the NAACP. Go @ClassixPhilly!
Hanging out with my friend and colleague Lady B and our great boss Jay Dixon last night at the Universoul Circus. Lady B got a well-deserved community award from the NAACP. Go @ClassixPhilly!
My church, Great Commission Church Philly, is seeking 10 families to bless this coming Sunday as an expression of our thanks to God. If your family could use this blessing and can join us for worship, register at https://forms.gle/ggnk91nzTdUSTxtH6 or text us at 267-991-8907 for details.
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
4 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brenda Sampson

Solomon I feel you on this one. The amount of those addictive cookies should match the price. Samoas forever! LOL!

Solomon Jones

Brenda I figure if my cholesterol is going to go up, there should be enough cookies to make the health problems worth it.

sister519@verizon.net

You’re right. You know, I think that I might fell a little better if the price goes up and the size remained the same. In a minute, the package will be comparable to the size from a vending machine.

Solomon Jones

Love the Girl Scouts, but you’re right. I need more than a thimble full of cookies. I’ll still buy them, though, because we love our cookie pusher.