three friends

After divorce, can he be friends with the ex?

TOH SMALL 11Dear Housewife:

How do you handle friendships when there is divorce (i.e. one of your good friends divorces his spouse, but you and the spouse have become friends)? Can you remain friends with the ex?

– The Third Wheel


Dear Third Wheel:

Just because your friends filed divorce papers with one another doesn’t mean that you must file also.   I think that you should make it clear to both of them that you value their friendship and would like to remain friends with both of them.  Be prepared that one party may object to your decision and may choose to distance himself/herself from you.  Let the ex go in peace.  Do not put a fight.  This response may be a blessing in disguise, resulting in less drama.  However, if both exes are fine with it take the extra step of defining topics of discussion which are off limits.  You must be a neutral party.  Do not allow them to pump you for information about the other, share gossip, etc.  You do not want to unwittingly add fuel to the divorce fire!

(Featured Illustration Jim McHugh. Photo © Diego Vito Cervo Dreamstime.com)

Leave a Comment
placeholder_advertisement

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Subscribe for More

Join us at @barbersonbroad at 1220 N. Broad St. w/ @gethealthyphilly and @classixphilly and get a free haircut from Noon to 2 pm as we help brothers defeat #hypertension in our community. Come through!!!
Tonight at 11 @Manupphl will be featured on @nbcphiladelphia Channel 10. Fighting #gunviolence a life at a time. Tune in!
Today after 7 years of featuring her sharp commentary on my shows I finally met ⁦‪@iamroxannejones‬⁩ in person. We broke bread (ok we ate everything but the bread) and plotted our takeover of the media universe. Lol! Great times! @onwurd
Having a ball hosting at #WawaWelcomeAmerica with @ClassixPhilly 107.9 at #Philly City Hall. #IDanceMinistry is killing it!
Like everyone else, I was surprised that Bill Cosby’s sexual assault conviction was overturned by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. It’s one thing for me to believe that Cosby was treated unfairly by a racist criminal justice system. It’s quite another thing for the state’s highest court to say Cosby’s due process rights were violated. Read on @whyy
I had a great time hosting #wawawelcomeamerica today at #Philly City Hall with @classixphilly 107.9
Murderer #DerekChauvin gets 22.5 years for killing #GeorgeFloyd. He should’ve gotten more. #BLM
Me and my Dad! Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers!
Working with Super volunteer Cheryl McFadden representing @manupphl at the #BrothersStroll at @enontab
Hanging out with listeners Gary and Sister Murray at JD’s Auto Body at 6300 Wayne Ave. Come through! We’re here until 10 am. @onwurd
Join us today until 10 am at JD’s Auto Body, 6300 Wayne Ave! We’ve got jobs, we’ve got food, we’ve got discounted @onWURD memberships and more! We want to meet you!
Join me, Mayor Jim Kenney and Dr. Ala Stanford for, “Unmasking COVID: Where does Philly go from here?” tonight at 7 pm on Classix 107.9 FM
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
3 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
JAB58

As long as the topic of conversation is not always about your past marriage. Find common ground to keep the friendship intact that doesn’t cause you to choose sides.If there are kids involved where your child may be friends with the divorced parties kids it would be unfair to them to have to also stop their friendship.

Solomon Jones

This divorce question begs another question: What if your friendship with your friend’s ex starts to morph into something else? Can the three of you still remain friends? Is that even cool? Where I come from there are unwritten rules against those kinds of things, but not everyone thinks that way.

Solomon Jones

Great point about the children, too. They are often the people hurt most by divorce, but we don’t often think about their lost friendships.