baby picture

More babies when your kids are almost grown?

YOU’RE APPROACHING THE END of your child bearing years and the children you have are almost grown. Then a funny thing happens. You meet a new love who has no children, but wants to have kids with you. Babies are cute, but … do you proceed with the relationship knowing you’ll eventually have to push out more babies? Or do you send your new love on their way?

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Kevin Ghee

Well there’s no way you should be in love without broaching the conversation first.

Solomon Jones

Agreed. It’s deep that we don’t ask each other the questions we need to ask up front sometimes, and I think it’s because we’re afraid of what the answers might be.

Kevin Ghee

Because there’s this silly notion that it’s too soon to discuss marriage, kids, etc etc. People forever set themselves up to lose.

Rachee

My daughter is 13 and the guy I am dating doesn’t have any children. I have told him that under no circumstances am I have more children. He understands and we are in a good place with it.

gloria g

This is a very personal decision and one that does not hang on “pushing out” a baby. I find that language to be all about the birth process, instead of about welcoming a new family member, to whom one has a lifetime responsibility and from whom decades of love will come.

Solomon Jones

Gloria I’ll take responsibility for the “push out” language, since I edited Natosha’s question. The word she used was similar, but I thought the word push was more fitting. Having said that, I think you’re right about having a baby. It’s more than a physical act. That’s why this question is so important. In reality, having a child is about much more than welcoming a loving family member. It’s a financial decision, a spiritual decision (Lord knows it takes prayer, from my perspective) and it’s a life decision. When your own children are almost adults, deciding to start over is like deciding to reboot your life. If you’re not willing to do it right and return the love the child is going to give you, then in my view you shouldn’t do it at all.

GHETOSPYDR

I’ve noticed that nowadays more and more people have an “expectation” that the other person is supposed to know how things are supposed to go within relationships and tend to stop asking questions because they believe all situations applies to everyone…and then get mad when they don’t…hence why continued communication is the key to maintaining healthy relationships.

Skdamc Da Partystarter

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, I got the game messed up. I have a 24 year old and a 3 year old. “PAROLE DENIED!!!” LOL